Childhood Annoyances
by Incomitatus
Summary: Harry’s father James was only seven years old when he accidentally tumbled into the future. Now its Harry’s responsibility to take care of him until someone finds a way to get young James back safely into the past. But will he make it back alive?
1. The Great Vegetable Spat

Disclaimer: I don't own the mighty Harry Potter and for that, I'm glad.

**Childhood Annoyances**

**Chapter 1: The Great Vegetable Spat**

James hates vegetables.

If someone asked him what he thought of them he'd instantly proclaim 'They're the worst food in the world!' as loud as his small lungs would allow. But his mother would never hear him. Even if she was sitting opposite him with dinner served at the dining table.

James glanced down at his meal full of carrots, broccoli and Brussels sprouts (the worst vegetable imaginable).

Horrid distaste covered his features and increased two-fold when he turned back to his mother. The way she shoveled them into her mouth so effortlessly. It was almost like she actually _enjoyed _them. He kept watching her as if hoping she'd finish her plate and move to his leaving James with ample room for dessert…

But nothing of the sort happened and he went back to examining his articles of food worthy of a science experiment. His upper lip sneered as he poked a familiar green item. Brussels sprouts were indeed the worst.

Not only did they stink, they looked like little green brains and tasted twice as worse.

"James!" shrieked his mother with enough shock to bounce him off his seat. "If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times! Don't play with your food!"

"But it's yuck!"

"It's _healthy_." she stated watching him over her oval framed glasses "And if you don't eat your dinner sensibly there will be no more broom flying with your father for the rest of the week!"

"But muuuuum!" whined James.

"NO!" she snatched his fork from the table and stabbed something green and slimy looking "Eat! Now!"

James snapped his mouth tightly shut and squirmed away.

"James!"

"No!" he yelled jumping out of his seat. "I don't like it!"

Before his mother could object further he ran to the back door bursting out into extensive country side scenery. He lived with his parents in a small cottage here. The area was quite extensive and left lots of room for broom flying practice - not that James was going to be able to do any of that now…

He ran in the direction of some foliage and synced himself into a path which led to a great hiding space enabling him spy on his mother when she came searching for him. No doubt she would begin the tiring task of searching the forest. It would teach her for forcing such disgusting food upon him.

He ran further and further into the foliage until he couldn't even see the nose in front of his face. Whether this was due being deep within the forest or the approaching night James didn't know. He'd never traveled into the forest at night since his father didn't let him but knew where he was going…

He stopped in a small patch of grass that gave the impression it was slightly greener that the rest ion the area and turned a sharp left. Moments later he bumped into a thickly rooted tree and began scouring the ground for a small hollow he knew to be here.

Eventually he found it and eagerly crawled in, huddling close the tree and soft ground for warmth. Once settled, he moved his hand deeper inside the tree and wrapped his fingers around a small pouch of candies he'd saved here almost a week ago. He devoured them in moments.

The sugary taste gave him a sense of ease. His mum would never make him eat a vegetable in his life once she found him…

An hour passed and the one prosperous pouch full of sugary goodness was now empty. Whatever unease James felt was briefly silenced. His mum would find him any second now...

Another two or three hours passed and whatever warmth James had once earlier found in the tree trunk hollow had all but disappeared. The nighttime cold was beginning to set into his skin and small shivers began to tingle his spine.

His mother was obviously not going to appear anytime soon. So much for his brilliant plan for a veggie free diet…

Facing defeat, James exited the hollow. He couldn't very well spend the night there. There was no more food. It was too dark to find the path now so James began walking in the direction he was sure the house was. Maybe his dad had got back from another late nights work waiting for James to race in and tell him about the Kneazel he'd found earlier that day.

A further hour passed and James gained a slight suspicion that he could be lost. No. He'd have to be a man and accept it. He was very lost.

Why oh why had he chosen to race into the forest at this time? He wanted to get away from his veggie mum so badly he'd lost track of time. He could imagine his father coming home late from work this very minute and his mother telling him they had to scour the forest for James.

Another horrid thought filled the pit James's stomach. What if his parents didn't want to look for him and had a replacement child? After all, James looked almost identical to his father. They could jut magically clone him and their problems would be solved. For the slightest moment the thought seemed humorous. But now – after being stuck in the forest for this long - it was beginning to sound like a giant possibility.

As if the crazy thought had stuck a chord, James began shouting for his parents in the dark.

"MUM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?" he yelled desperately "I'M SORRY! I PROMISE TO EAT ALL MY VEGITABLES! PLEASE DON"T HAVE A REPLACEMENT CHILD! WHERE ARE YOU? MUM! DAD!"

A twig snapped causing James to jump through his socks. Straight ahead in a large clearing he saw a dark figure in the clearing ahead.

"Dad?" whispered James It looked very familiar…. He began to run towards it "Dad! It's you! I knew you'd come!" James flung his arms out and hugged the tall figure around their legs. James was very short for his age.

The figure muttered _lumos _and a bright light lit their face causing James to squint from the sudden brightness. His eyes adjusted and he gasped.

Needless to say, James's hate for vegetables lay quite forgotten.


	2. Walking Threats

**Childhood Annoyances**

**Chapter 2: Walking Threats**

Earlier that day twenty years into the future Harry's eyes flashed open and reveled in the dark canopy of his bed.

He could make out a small glimmer of sunshine between a small gap in the hangings. It made him want to curl deeper into the covers. It was another school day. And with it came the ever detested sixth year potion classes with one professor Severus Snape.

Harry closed his eyes again and tried to savor the few moments of peace he had left before Ron-

"_EEEEEAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!"_

Too late.

Harry groaned and began the demeaning task of crawling out of bed. Ron had stopped screaming by the time Harry had walked over to peer inside the four-poster bed.

The insides where total pandemonium. Amongst many tangled sheets and blankets lay a very disheveled Ron; his eyes starring off into space and red hair looking almost as messy as Harry's.

"You OK, Ron?" murmured Harry.

Ron merely nodded.

"You going to get out of bed?"

Ron shook his head.

"Ron?"

"Yeah?"

Harry's brow furrowed.

"Maybe you should stop drinking that alarm potion Hermione got for your birthday." he said grimly "I think it's doing you more harm than good…"

"Ah, don't be silly Harry." Said Ron, quickly snapping out of what ever dream state he was in. "Look! I'm up and about with no problems what so ever. That potion really does the trick!" And - as if to prove his point - Ron jumped out of bed and started sorting through his suitcase for some school robes; almost knocking over a glass jug of water on his bedside table in the process.

Harry's brow furrowed deeper.

"OK," said Harry, now moving toward his own suitcase. "But the next time you drink that potion, try not to have too much. I don't think morning screaming is good for certain people…"

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't you seen Nevile?" pointed Harry "He's been a nervous wreck ever since you started taking that stuff."

Ron looked up and followed Harry's finger toward where Neville normally slept. He had deep circles under his eyes and was perched on the end of his bed swaying back and fourth muttering things like "Ron!", "Scream!" and "Keep the Ron away…!".

It wasn't the prettiest of sights, that's was for sure.

Ron chuckled nervously and got dressed quickly and racing down to the great hall for breakfast in record speed...

"Potter!" snarled Professor Snape motioning to Harry's lime green potion." You've done it wrong again! I wrote on the board add snake scales_ after_ the bruspot pettles! If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times -"

As Snape continued to be… well Snape Harry looked toward Hermione with a slightly pained expression. She gave him a small smile which said 'don't worry, we only have another hour to go' which didn't help Harry much as another hour with Snape felt twelve like years.

He glanced down at her healthy simmering potion and noticed it was more of a yellow-green color. If only his potion was like hers, then he wouldn't have Snape proclaiming to the class everything he'd done wrong…again.

"…And If it were up to me," continued Snape "you'd never see another potion on your life. _Potter!_ Are you even listening to me!"

Harry jumped and quickly nodded.

Shape snorted.

"Obviously not." he stood to his full height "Detention tonight, Potter. Six o'clock." Snape swished away in his billowing black cloaks and went to torment some other poor student. Behind him Harry could see Malfoy snigger. Maybe, when Snape wasn't looking, Harry could throw his potion in Malfoy's face. Hopefully it would burn it off, he thought sinisterly.

He or Hermione didn't speak to each other for the rest of the lesson, not wishing to put Harry into further detentions for the week. But once they got outside and clear of the dungeons…

"That ruddy –" Harry yelled something which made Ron stare in awe. "Well he is!" said Harry explaining to Ron why he was stuck in detention for the night. Ron didn't have to suffer weekly potion lessons like Harry. He'd gotten out of them the second he could.

"Well Harry," said Hermione in an authoritive tone "maybe this will teach you to pay more attention in your potion making… Oh alright! He's a git! I said it! Happy?" She snapped after catching the two dark glares from Ron and Harry. Ron was lucky.

"I know!" said Ron "Harry! If you lend me your invisibility cloak I'll go and make a distraction Snape will leave and probably let you off during detention. What do you think?"

Harry contemplated this...

"No." he sighed finally "It wouldn't work. Snape'd just reschedule it for tomorrow night and double it or something. He'd probably think the distraction was my doing anyway."

Ron hung his head admitting to defeat. It made Harry feel better knowing that Ron would risk himself to get him out of detention but that didn't mean Harry was still looking forward to it.

"Com on Harry," said Ron "why don't we go down to dinner? You've still got half an hour till detention - ?"

"Actually, I'm not hungry" said Harry suddenly "I'll think I'll just go for a walk…"

"I'll come with –"

"_Alone_."

"Oh," Ron looked a little put out but agreed all the same. Hermione had different ideas.

"Harry!" she snapped "You can't go out at this time! Its dark out and there's Voldemort! You of all people should know it's not safe!"

Harry wasn't in the mood for this. He just needed some fresh air…

"If I want to go on a walk at a completely inappropriate time…" snapped Harry agedly "then I can go for a walk at a completely inappropriate time! If Voldemort's after my skin then that's just _his_ dumb luck!"

"Actually Harry, Isn't it really your -?"

"_Good-Bye _Hermione!"

"But - where are you going?"

"To some place where _you_ can't get me!" Harry yelled, letting his temper get the best of him.

"Oh, Harry –"

"Leave it." Harry heard Ron mumble before he swished around the corner and toward the double doors of the entrance hall. Harry hated it when people felt they knew what was best for him. Dumbledore had done it last year. And during summer last year when he was told by Sirius to stay at the Dursley's…

At least Ron wasn't entirely like that. Neither was Hermione - _most_ of the time…

When Harry made it outside to the cool dark air he saw the grounds to be deserted. After choosing a path which surrounded the lake and briefly flew past the forbidden forest Harry soon found himself muttering about why Snape was such a slimy git with out even realizing it. It was then that he heard a small rustle in the forest. A _human_rustle.

Before Harry could even thing a certain something jumped out of the clearing and wrapped itself tightly around his legs. Harry struggled to get free; what ever it was it had bounded him tightly. Muttering ' _lumous_ ', Harry maneuvered his wand to see what it was.

"_Your_ not my father!" came a boyish voice. A kid, no older than seven or eight, was pushing himself away in disgust.

"Father?" gasped Harry, gaining his balance to see the boy bolting away from him into the forest. "Hey!" yelled Harry "Who are you? Wait! Don't go that way!"

Seeing the boy wasn't all that keen to stop his pursuit of the forest, Harry groaned and began to run after him.

"Don't go there! It's dangerous!" yelled Harry again. It was hard following someone half your size into dense foliage. Twigs and loose branches scraped Harry's cloak and face as he ran after the boy. After darting a few trees and jumping a hedge he finally managed to snag the kid around the neck by hood of his small blue cloak.

"Geoff!" squealed the boy, struggling uselessly against Harry's grip. "Geoff me! If you don't I'll get my dad! He eats little runts like you for breakfast!"

"I'm not going to hurt you!" said Harry trying to pull back the boy's hands which were flapping around uselessly; occasionally hitting Harry in the face. "Look – just – stop – struggling –your - only - making - things - harder - on - yourself!"

_Snap!_

"What was that?" gasped the boy suddenly going slack in Harry's grasp.

"Er," said Harry "Did something follow you here by any chance…?"

"um… possibly?"

"Well that's helpful…"

"Well you're the stupid git that followed me here, aren't you?"

"_Shhh!_" hissed Harry, scanning surrounding the area for any movement. Even with his wand it was hard to see in the dense forest...

And, just meters beyond his vision, a certain brown slimy something pulsed in the dark. A noise which Harry presumed to be a voice gulped:

"_We vhants ze boy! Give us ze boy!"_ It gurgled as if it was struggling to speak.

"We?" asked Harry. He heard a terrified squeak. "What?" he hissed, turning to see the boy pale as a sheet and pointing into more darkness. Harry felt his skin pale to the shade. Apparently, they were surrounded.


	3. Soggy Confrontations

**Chapter 3: Soggy Confrontations**

"Gives uss ze boy now or we vill destroies you!" pulsed one of the many glutinous-like creatures in the shadows. Their smell was so horrid it made Harry how be and the boy had been surrounded without their noticing.

Harry pulled out his wand, centering it on any movement the moonlight cared to reveal.

"What are you doing!" yelled the boy, pulling Harry's arm down quickly "There has to be more than twenty of these things! We don't want to intimidate them!"

"Do you even know what these things are?" snapped Harry.

"What does it matter!"

Harry let out a frustrated groan but it was lost under the impatient gurgles of the pulsing creatures.

"Yousss hasss hadsst your warningssss…" the creatures slowly slid into the moonlight "Nowss we takess by forcess."

Harry felt the boy grip onto the side of his cloak, tightly. The creatures looked repulsive. Like poorly made people slopped in mud. They had dark gouging eyes and as there slowly slumped forward a sickening type of _squelch_ could be heard.

"W-what are they?" gasped the boy.

"You just told me it doesn't matter what they are!" Said Harry quickly.

"So? You're the one with the wand. _Do _something!"

Harry grit his teeth. This boy was really getting on his nerves.

"You can not escapesss!" gurgled the closest one "We are the earthss and the earthss surroundsss you!"

"You mean you're made of _mud_?" asked Harry who could feel the boy loosening his grip a little. All the creatures paused. Harry tried to make out an expression out of the clay-like-muck. It almost looked –

"_Ouch!_" yelled Harry now clutching his foot and glaring angrily at the boy. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get _you_ to magic us out of here!" snapped the boy. "Well, what're you waiting for? Conjure some fire or something, or do I have to stamp your foot again?"

"OK," said Harry, still somewhat peeved. He flicked his wand and said "_Aqua emersum!_"

There was a small vibration from the ground and all the creatures looked down at their mud-piled bodies. Harry supposed this was their feet because within moments they were surrounded in water like small muddy islands. Some still attempted to struggle forwards to attack but it was no use. All of them were melting into the water like ice-cream in the sun.

Soon all the creatures had submerged completely into the waist-height water to leave Harry and the boy shivering alone in the cold.

"Didn't I tell you to use a _fire _spell?" gasped the boy now struggling to stay afloat. Harry felt like snapping a few choice words at the boy and maybe even threaten to drown the boy. Instead, he offered his hand and helped pull the boy out of the new miniature lake he'd created.

"Oh wow!" gasped the boy, stepping out of the water starring at Hogwarts ."Is that a real castle?"

"Uh yeah," said Harry. "But before we go there I have to ask – hey, wait!" he hadn't even been able to summon a drying charm and the boy was already running toward the school entrance; his shoes squelching in quick succession along the grass. "Don't you know _any _rules?" yelled Harry chasing after him. Eventually he managed to catch the boy again by snagging onto his drenched robes. Together they fell head-first onto the front steps to the entrance hall.

"Well, Mr Potter." sneered a looming shadow. Both Harry and the boy's head snapped up to attention. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to find your self in some type of pandemonium." It was Snape. "Now why is it that within the short amount of time before detention tonight you thought it would be smart to go for a midnight dip in the lake?"

"Why are _you_ here?" asked Harry

"Manners Potter," Snape crossed his arms "I could ask the same about your little… _friend_." He gazed at the boy with a disgusted look on his face. It was just the kind of look Aunt Petunia had given Harry all his life. "What is someone as young as he doing on school grounds? Answer me!"

"How should I know? I just found him wandering in the forest-"

"And what were you doing in there?" said Snape. "Getting yourself into more trouble, obviously. Honestly, how dim can your brain -"

"Hey, back off!" retorted the boy quite suddenly making Snap's eyebrows rise ever so slightly. "He saved me so just leave him alone!"

Harry was surprised too and for a few short seconds, both he and Snape were staring at the boy with disbelieving expressions. That boy just didn't know when to shut-up, thought Harry.

"And what's a little runt like you-" Snape gasped. Well came as close to a gasp as his sense of decency would allow. Harry picked himself up from the steps and saw Snape looking at the boy as if it were the first time he'd_ really_ noticed him. The last time Harry had seen Snape's expression this calculating was back in second year when he spoke Pastel mouth in front of the school by accident.

Once Snape composed himself, he hauled the boy bodily up by the back of his sopping robes and snarled: "Potter! My office! Now!"

Harry didn't feel particularly like testing his patience.

Snape dragged the boy trough the entrance hall while Harry followed behind. They passed Great Hall which was now full of students, dinner and warmth and stepped down the small stairway just beyond. It was a stark contrast to standing in the cold dungeons moments later. Harry felt the dark air bite at his wet-robed skin. He imagined it must've been just as cold for the boy whose robes were even wetter. It just made Snape look even more vindictive. Yet why was he so angry about the boy?

Sure, he was annoying but to Snape almost anyone was annoying; _especially_ if they didn't belong in Slytherin.

They were all in Snape office now left to watch Snape pacing beyond the other side of his desk. Harry had helped the boy get to his feet after Snape had just dumped him onto the stone floor.

"Explain." snarled Snape

"Explain what?" asked Harry, genuinely confused.

Snape stopped pacing and slammed his desk with a pale white fist.

"Stop trying my patience Potter and explain!"

"I don't know what – "

"Explain to me Potter," said Snape who's patience had ebbed "why that brat of a father is standing right beside you!"


End file.
